Why Your Nervous System Won't Calm Down (And What Actually Helps)
Overcoming Your Anxiety
Do you ever say, “I’m an anxious person” like a badge of honor?
Pause. Now, think and digest that question if your answer is yes. The truth is anxiety comes from a state of mind, so it doesn’t define who you are unless you claim it. If you view anxiety as a reflection of your nervous system, then you can find strategies to change your state of mind to reflect a calm nervous system—that is the parasympathetic system.
When you can see your state of being—calm vs alert, calm vs stressed, calm vs anxious, parasympathetic vs sympathetic—you can see that overcoming anxiety is possible. It doesn’t have to be apart of your personality or identity. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived with it, what people you’ve attached to because of it, you can be calm, in tune with your emotions, and not let negative circumstances dictate how you think and approach a problem. If anxiety can be triggered in you, then calmness can also be triggered in you. It’s a matter of finding the right strategy to trigger a calm way of being.
Although simple, this isn’t an easy task. In fact, even after all the work we put in, our nerves can get the best of us; but it’s important to remember that transforming our minds is not a linear process. When we experience reminders of a painful past, our brain can play tricks on us, saying that something is wrong or unsafe, even when the future is undecided.
Because the future isn’t set in stone, uncertainty can make us nervous, which can breed insecurities, anxiety and even paranoia in our minds if we let them. During these points of trigger, it’s essential to differentiate between overthinking and a gut feeling. A gut feeling (that is if your gut is healthy) can speak to a truth and protect you. Overthinking can feel the same, but is led by fear, an emotion designed to help us survive. Fear takes over your whole system, making every worry and doubt about the future replay in your mind. Yet, it’s not always accurate and might fold us into making the wrong decision and act rashly.
During these uncertain moments, it’s best to ask yourself, have I been here before? What specifically is the same between my current and previous situation? How are the two different? And is the decision I want to make based on fear or wisdom?
Wisdom is calm and learns from the past, not let the past run our lives in the future. If your uncertainty is very high, the best decision may be to stay in the present and not force a decision just because you don’t want to deal with the anxiety of waiting. Often, the hardest thing to do is the simplest thing and that may be to wait on the right time to decide. For others the vice versa may be true: those that are indecisive and avoid decisions may simply need to make one and then learn from it. Keep reading below on how to ease your anxiety so you feel calm as you wait, or calm in the hard decision you’re about to make.
Identify your Level of Nervousness
Why is it important to determine how nervous you are? It gives you clarity in how much your mind and body is affected, and it also leads you to the best strategy to overcome your issue.
Insecurity: feeling self-doubt or lacking confidence, often from not feeling good enough and being trapped in comparison.
Anxiety: excessive worrying, negative outlook on the future, which can manifest physically (i.e. symptoms include increased heart rate, sweating, upset stomach or indigestion, or panic attack…etc.)
Paranoia: extreme distrust and suspicion, often creating irrational beliefs that others are scheming against you. It’s a stronghold on your mind that doesn’t easily listen to reason.
5 Strategies to Calm Your Nervous System
Your level of nervousness is more than psychological—it’s also physiological. There’s a reason why it’s called your nervous system. Anxiety, paranoia, and any level of nervousness affects your heart rate, blood pressure and rate of breathing. Think of the phrase “you’re raising my blood pressure” or “you’re making my blood boil.” It speaks to the truth of emotions directly being tied to your body’s response to stress.
Below are 5 techniques and strategies to calm your nerves from the ground up: that is letting your body lead your mind into relaxation (click a strategy below for a full detailed guide):
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): a self-relaxation technique to physically let go of tension held in your body, by engaging isolated body parts with a muscle contraction followed by relaxing.
Deep Breathing Exercises: another physiological technique relax your body through controlled breathing. Breathing is also directly connected to your heart rate, so this is recommended for those with a racing heartbeat as a trigger response. Controlling your breath, controls your heart rate, and eventually your mind has no option but to calm down.
Low-intensity Cardio: walking especially while meditating or facing triggers unlocks your mind to move forward from repeating the same cycle in your mind. Quite literally you are moving forward with your body.
Yoga and Calisthenics: stretches and engages your body to flow through movement. Applying meditative techniques while flowing strengthens your mind-muscle connection, which also is your ability to understand when your body is tense, where it holds stress, and how it’s connected to your mentality.
Strength Training at home: builds capacity in strength, power and conditioning for transforming your mind and body. It significantly boosts neuroplasticity, which is the ability of the brain to rewire itself and change. With a focused session, you can learn to break old mental habits and live a happy healthy life.
In principle, the higher your state of nervousness, the less physically intense should be your strategy. Meaning, start from the top of the list with Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) or Deep Breathing techniques. The less intense your triggers are, then the more physically demanding strategy can be ideal. Otherwise, pick what resonates the most with you. Remember, your strategy should be specific to your needs and likes.
Conclusion
By identifying your triggers and practicing self-awareness, you can manage your state of nervousness better. The key is staying present, using calming techniques, and making decisions based on wisdom, and not fear. The featured calming strategies are separate blogs that share step-by-step guides to help calm your nerves and achieve peace.
About the Author:
COACH DEE | CERTIFIED STRENGTH COACH, CSCS, ACE—CPT
Deborah Park, known as Coach Dee, is the owner of Drip Training LLC and an ACE Certified Personal Trainer and Health Coach. With a background in architecture and kinesiology from the University of Virginia, she has extensive experience in personal training and athletic coaching in a clinical (physical therapy) setting. Coach Dee combines her scientific knowledge with years of hands-on experience to create programs that empower clients to regain control over their bodies and minds.
Her journey into personal training was deeply influenced by her personal struggles, including recovering from a life-changing car accident that led to PTSD and pain from scoliosis. This experience gave her a unique understanding of the connection between mental health and physical well-being. Coach Dee is committed to helping clients develop resilience, build strength, and rediscover their confidence—no matter the challenges they face.
