Why Self-Introspection is Important Before You Find a Support System
How well can someone help you if you don’t know why you need help or where you need help in? When you lack self-introspection, you become vulnerable to others assigning problems that they think you have and not necessarily the one that is true to you. In order to protect yourself from projection, having self-awareness is paramount, and this comes with the consistent practice of self-reflection.
Now, we can’t do everything alone forever, but during the time of transition—where life feels more quiet, you’re not as busy, and may have even separated yourself from familiar circles—seizing the opportunity to work on yourself is critical. Not only does self-work prepare you for all your goals, but it also prevents you from creating more damage. When we’re desperate for relationships, desperate for any kind of support, we latch on quickly to those that we haven’t vetted properly and easily overlook signs that show character flaws or misalignment with our views, values and philosophy.
Rushing to find help can lead us to the wrong type of relationships, leaving more scars for us to heal, or even mishandle the right one because we simply weren’t ready. But, when we are ready emotionally and mentally, we attract those that we actually need and align with, and treat them in ways that lead to fulfillment. Self-introspection brings clarity so that when the right relationships come, they can help you in the areas you need and not what they think you need.
3 ways to practice self-introspection
Compare Your Self-Perception With Feedback From Others
This is an effective way to both keep yourself protected from others projecting, as well as keeping yourself accountable. It’s important to be cautious of who you seek feedback from because everyone doesn’t have the best intentions for you — even when they do; it might not be the right guidance. It’s your job to decipher what’s accurate. A general rule to follow is to acknowledge when you hear the same feedback from at least three different people saying the same thing as a pattern. The accountability comes when you accept the reality that you’re the common link, whatever the reason, between all three circumstances. Once you accept that reality, you can start to become more honest with yourself about who you are and the things you carry inside. Reflecting and becoming more self-aware is key.
Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Understanding yourself and being aware of others perception of you, will guide you to choose the right relationships. The first step is to know your assets and downfalls. Where you’re strong isn’t where you need external support. Where you’re weak is where you need help. However, before jumping into relationships for help, it’s essential to at least address your weaknesses yourself. This provides more knowledge on strategies may or may not work for you. Independently improving your weaknesses as much as possible will lay a solid foundation for future support.
Aligned values are essential in choosing a relationship for growth. Also, knowing which temperaments or personalities that you are compatible with will make a significant difference in how well the relationship supports you. By finding the right fit, you’ll create a relationship dynamic that genuinely encourages personal growth and complements your journey of self-improvement.
Make a Plan and Stick To It
Having a plan isn’t just for physical goals, it applies to internal work as well. A plan breaks down a seemingly elusive goal of mental clarity and discernment into actionable steps. The goal of any good plan should break larger goals into smaller goals that have practical steps. Take the example of gaining clarity on your emotions. You first need to know what specifically helps you. It could be writing, recording uninterrupted voice notes, or meditating. Pick one that works for you as a practical step. Secondly, break down your initial goal into a specific time and circumstance, such as any time I get frustrated, fearful or angry, I’ll practice the step of writing down my thoughts. Now, with practice and consistency you’ll gain more insight into why you may the way you do.
Conclusion
Even if you don’t know what the best plan is for you, you’re still building up consistency and effort. That’s more than the average person can say for themselves. Once you’ve shown up for yourself without quitting, but you’re barely making progress, then it’s time to ask for professional help.
In your journey to find the right support system, working on yourself is paramount. You want people to support the true you and not a lesser version of yourself. By being self-aware and setting realistic goals, you position yourself to benefit from the right relationships and for them to be fruitful.
About the Author:
COACH DEE | CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER ACE—CPT, PPSC, TIWL
Deborah Park, known as Coach Dee, is the owner of Drip Training LLC and an ACE Certified Personal Trainer and Health Coach. With a background in architecture and kinesiology from the University of Virginia, she has extensive experience in personal training and athletic coaching in a clinical (physical therapy) setting. Coach Dee combines her scientific knowledge with years of hands-on experience to create programs that empower clients to regain control over their bodies and minds.
Her journey into personal training was deeply influenced by her personal struggles, including recovering from a life-changing car accident that led to PTSD and pain from scoliosis. This experience gave her a unique understanding of the connection between mental health and physical well-being. Coach Dee is committed to helping clients develop resilience, build strength, and rediscover their confidence—no matter the challenges they face.
